open post

[murdertalk]

always open post, april - july 2017

♛ pick a character of mine and put them in the header of your tag. ♛ either write your own starter or leave it blank and i'll come up something (NSFW is fine)! ♛ ???? ♛ profit.

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[fiftyfour]

What's his name?

[jurisdick]

[ no. ]

Changing his heart is pointless. I'd recommend against it.

[ it'd be too easy a punishment. ]

[fiftyfour]

Why?

[He's watching you now, Goro. Please don't lie.]

[jurisdick]

...This is my own battle to fight. I'd like to do it myself.

[ it's honest, no lies here okay ]

[fiftyfour]

You don't have to, though. You can ask for help--you have friends.

[jurisdick]

I'm selfish.

[ he looks up, with that fake smile, still gripping the chair extremely tightly. ]

[fiftyfour]

No you aren't.

[He can tell it's fake, he can tell this is upsetting, but he has to keep pushing just a little bit.]

Selfish people don't stay friends with the delinquent from out of town.

[jurisdick]

[ a laugh, a bit bitter but it's still one. ]

Selfish people selfishly keep a hold on what makes them happy.

[fiftyfour]

Maybe, which is why I don't want to let you deal with this alone. You're my best friend and I'd be an asshole if I left you alone during all this.

[jurisdick]

[ still? even now? even after meeting everyone else...? his chest clenches again and he can't help but to sigh. ]

You really are fascinating.

[fiftyfour]

What do you mean?

[He turns back to the curry so it won't burn. That would defeat the main purpose of coming here.]

[jurisdick]

[ he knows akira would hate him if he knew the truth. he knows that's going to lose him soon, once election day comes and akechi shoots shido. he won't even bother trying to hide evidence. won't even bother trying to hide who did it because that's the whole point of this. for shido to know. for the world to know.

his fingers twitch restlessly at the top of the chair. he'd be in jail, in a world without akira. he'd never get to speak to him, he'd never see him. akira would hate him.

he moves without thinking and in the rarest displays of affection he's ever done, because he doesn't like people and definitely doesn't like any of this sort of stuff, he stands behind akira and rests his face into akira's hair, hands resting loosely on akira's back. it's not quite a hug but it's -... it's something. ]

[fiftyfour]

Hm?

[There's the briefest moment of stillness when Goro comes close, but it's followed by Akira turning the cooktop off and turning around to properly hug Goro, dammit. Something must be very wrong if he's doing this.]

I'm not going anywhere, Goro. Promise.

[jurisdick]

[ the hug makes him tense. every single muscle in his body tightens and he's glad that akira can't really see his face. he feels brutally conflicted, like he's being pulled in two separate directions. being friends with akira shouldn't have become this big of a distraction. playing hero shouldn't have made him feel bad about what he was doing to destroy his own father. it shouldn't make him feel horrible over the past mental breakdowns, far and few as they were.

his fingers tighten in the back of akira's shirt and he says, in a very empty voice, ]

I'm going to hurt you. It's best if you leave now.

[fiftyfour]

No.

[Akira tightens his arms around Goro, almost like he's afraid he'll try to break away if he doesn't.]

I don't abandon people, Goro, least of all my best friend. If you're in trouble, no matter what, I want to help. Haven't you realized that by now?

[jurisdick]

[ there's this sick twisted feeling in his gut and he knows he can't run away from it. akira has him backed into a corner.

he tips his head just a bit so he can murmur hotly near akira's ear. ]

I've done horrible things, Akira. Things you'd hate me for that you'd learn about if you went inside my heart. You won't like it there.

[fiftyfour]

[He shivers a little but still refuses to let go. He came here to help Goro and so help Goro he shall.]

Try me.

[jurisdick]

[ his grip tightens, almost painfully so, against akira's back. sorry not sorry. ]

You're smart, aren't you? You've probably already put it together by now. [ deliberate, slow, chilling ] I've been able to use that world for almost three years now.

[fiftyfour]

[Akira pauses, but nods.]

I was hoping I was wrong. You were the one causing breakdowns.

[Still calm as ever.]

I guessed it was you when Madarame mentioned a black mask. I knew it was you with Kaneshiro. Still here.

[jurisdick]

[ .... oh. ]

Why are you still here?

[ he may be shaking, just a tiny bit.

it's shameful to think that he hasn't triggered any breakdowns since he met akira in person. that he's avoided it. his voice sounds so bitter, just on the cusp of anger - ]

Why don't you hate me?

[fiftyfour]

Because there haven't been any since April. Because I want answers. Because we're friends and I'm choosing to believe you thought you were doing something right by causing them. Because you're my best friend. Because I don't abandon people.

[jurisdick]

[ those are all very, very reasons. goro lets them all process and he can't help the way he just bumps his forehead against akira's for support. he's tired. he's really, really tired and torn up about all of this. at least shido hasn't come outright about wanting to stop the thieves. at least akira is safe. they just need to stop getting popular. they need to stop it right now so he doesn't have to face this -- he laughs hollowly. ]

...I imagine I also don't have to tell you that the person giving me these orders is the same person I want to see punished.

[fiftyfour]

It's not a hard conclusion to--wait. Goro, is your father the one doing this?

[He doubts that's what he meant by that, but the phrasing....]

[jurisdick]

Yes.

[ he says it blandly, mouth still near akira's ear. ]

I needed to gain his trust so I could be at his side when the time comes to make him fall.

[fiftyfour]

Let me help.

[The words are out of his mouth almost instantly]

I know you want to do this yourself, Goro, but please. I want to help. If he's the one ordering the breakdowns, who knows what else he's done?