open post

[murdertalk]

always open post, april - july 2017

♛ pick a character of mine and put them in the header of your tag. ♛ either write your own starter or leave it blank and i'll come up something (NSFW is fine)! ♛ ???? ♛ profit.

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[fiftyfour]

Hm?

[There's the briefest moment of stillness when Goro comes close, but it's followed by Akira turning the cooktop off and turning around to properly hug Goro, dammit. Something must be very wrong if he's doing this.]

I'm not going anywhere, Goro. Promise.

[jurisdick]

[ the hug makes him tense. every single muscle in his body tightens and he's glad that akira can't really see his face. he feels brutally conflicted, like he's being pulled in two separate directions. being friends with akira shouldn't have become this big of a distraction. playing hero shouldn't have made him feel bad about what he was doing to destroy his own father. it shouldn't make him feel horrible over the past mental breakdowns, far and few as they were.

his fingers tighten in the back of akira's shirt and he says, in a very empty voice, ]

I'm going to hurt you. It's best if you leave now.

[fiftyfour]

No.

[Akira tightens his arms around Goro, almost like he's afraid he'll try to break away if he doesn't.]

I don't abandon people, Goro, least of all my best friend. If you're in trouble, no matter what, I want to help. Haven't you realized that by now?

[jurisdick]

[ there's this sick twisted feeling in his gut and he knows he can't run away from it. akira has him backed into a corner.

he tips his head just a bit so he can murmur hotly near akira's ear. ]

I've done horrible things, Akira. Things you'd hate me for that you'd learn about if you went inside my heart. You won't like it there.

[fiftyfour]

[He shivers a little but still refuses to let go. He came here to help Goro and so help Goro he shall.]

Try me.

[jurisdick]

[ his grip tightens, almost painfully so, against akira's back. sorry not sorry. ]

You're smart, aren't you? You've probably already put it together by now. [ deliberate, slow, chilling ] I've been able to use that world for almost three years now.

[fiftyfour]

[Akira pauses, but nods.]

I was hoping I was wrong. You were the one causing breakdowns.

[Still calm as ever.]

I guessed it was you when Madarame mentioned a black mask. I knew it was you with Kaneshiro. Still here.

[jurisdick]

[ .... oh. ]

Why are you still here?

[ he may be shaking, just a tiny bit.

it's shameful to think that he hasn't triggered any breakdowns since he met akira in person. that he's avoided it. his voice sounds so bitter, just on the cusp of anger - ]

Why don't you hate me?

[fiftyfour]

Because there haven't been any since April. Because I want answers. Because we're friends and I'm choosing to believe you thought you were doing something right by causing them. Because you're my best friend. Because I don't abandon people.

[jurisdick]

[ those are all very, very reasons. goro lets them all process and he can't help the way he just bumps his forehead against akira's for support. he's tired. he's really, really tired and torn up about all of this. at least shido hasn't come outright about wanting to stop the thieves. at least akira is safe. they just need to stop getting popular. they need to stop it right now so he doesn't have to face this -- he laughs hollowly. ]

...I imagine I also don't have to tell you that the person giving me these orders is the same person I want to see punished.

[fiftyfour]

It's not a hard conclusion to--wait. Goro, is your father the one doing this?

[He doubts that's what he meant by that, but the phrasing....]

[jurisdick]

Yes.

[ he says it blandly, mouth still near akira's ear. ]

I needed to gain his trust so I could be at his side when the time comes to make him fall.

[fiftyfour]

Let me help.

[The words are out of his mouth almost instantly]

I know you want to do this yourself, Goro, but please. I want to help. If he's the one ordering the breakdowns, who knows what else he's done?

[jurisdick]

You don't understand.

[ a beat ]

Changing is heart is far too kind. I want to take everything away from him, piece by piece, and watch as he begs for my forgiveness and his life.

[fiftyfour]

What's more satisfying: taking it away or watching him destroy it all himself because you made him realize he's a fucking asshole?

[Swearing is more Ryuji's thing but sometimes it's needed.]

[jurisdick]

He'll never know it's me.

[ it's selfish, so selfish, but it's what he wants. ]

He needs to know I'm the one.

[ his breath grows hotter, heavier, and he refuses to look at akira, very intensely focusing on his hair and the way being this close is driving him up a wall. ]

[fiftyfour]

....we could probably still do that.

[He's thinking, trying to stay calm while Goro loses it in his arms.]

"On behalf of the woman you killed and the child you destroyed, the Phantom Thieves" blah blah blah. If he's half as smart as you, he'd know.

[jurisdick]

[ it... could work.

it's terrifying how easily that could work. before meeting akira, before meeting morgana, killing had been the easiest option. but having shido confess to all his sins? having him publicly embarrass himself and rot in jail? maybe, just maybe, justice really does matter. maybe he could reach justice that way. ]

.... All right.

[ it's a tiny whisper that sounds more like the fifteen year old boy that was given a loaded gun and told to kill than the black mask. ]

[fiftyfour]

[Why does he feel like he just talked someone off the edge? Akira sighs in relief, still holding tightly to Goro.]

I promise, Goro, we'll take him down. Maybe not right away--we need to figure out this Medjed thing first--but he's going to hell just like the rest of them.

[jurisdick]

[ mmmm. ]

We'll need to keep you out of the limelight. If he realizes the Thieves are an actual threat, he'll order me to kill you with a very thin deadline.

[fiftyfour]

....well, handling Medjed's going to do the exact opposite of that, but we can just lie low after that.

[Hopefully.]

And if not, we'll just go after him before the deadline or...something, but that's later. Right now, there's curry and I know you have soda around here somewhere.

[jurisdick]

Of course.

[ ... it's quiet, and it's gentle, but the next moment truly does matter, because he hugs akira very gently and lets the tip of his nose brush against akira's ear. ]

......Thank you.

[fiftyfour]

Of course.

[And Akira just holds Goro. He'll let the other decide when to part.]

We're friends, after all.

[jurisdick]

[ his friend. his first friend. he'll linger just a moment longer, trying to ignore the way his eyes itch and sting with redness. he refuses to cry. ]

...The curry smells great. Thank you.

[ and he'll pull away, clearing his throat and smoothing the front of his shirt to regain his composure. ]

[fiftyfour]

Hopefully it tastes just as good. I made it myself.

[He smiles and turns back to the food to give Goro some time]

Sojiro's been teaching me, but this isn't his recipe.