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for untilproven!
Nov. 22nd, 2022 07:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
actus ( falling asleep back in his own bed, far from tokyo and some of the best and worst memories of his life, should have been uneventful. disappointing and a tinge depressing, sure. a reminder of the way his entire life changed because of his inability to see someone taken advantage of? absolutely. falling asleep with too-soft sheets and too-dark skies and waking to milk crates digging into his back and the low whir of a coffee machine? yeah, that wasn’t on his bingo card.
it doesn’t take him long to piece some things together: it’s his first few weeks at shujin, sojiro still thinks he’s a miscreant, ryuji and ann aren’t confiding in him about everything, and morgana has zero idea who he really is. that all tracks.
what doesn’t track is that the owner of the room cloaked in blue hasn’t reappeared. not once. it makes dealing with the bantering of his personas a little more involved and frustrating. without his “guards” to restrain and ridicule him for taking so long, he’s free to take his time and really develop the best strategies. for… a place that shouldn’t exist anymore.
yeah, that’s the stickler. none of this should exist. time travel doesn’t exist, but then again, he’s been traipsing around in people’s hearts and living in alternate realities created by a disillusioned therapist so who is he to judge? either way, it seems like no one remembers that they’ve been down this road before. explaining it to them - even ryuji - seems like a fool’s errand and ripe for distrust among his closest friends. so akira keeps quiet and recounts the first semester with ease, skillfully avoiding letting any trepidation show. avoiding maruki is also high on his list; he needs to assess what to do about that with much more care than repeating the same old set list from his last “life”.
(because surely igor will return, surely the butterfly will float down one night while he slumbers and everything will be explained.
they don’t. not even after kamoshida’s heart is changed.
akira figures he’s on his own this time around, even if the back of his mind itches with the haunting words of dear trickster, what will you make of this second chance to seek a middle ground of reform and ruin?)
but all of that’s to say his atternoon return from shujin should have been filled with a visit to the doctor’s office and movie theater. that’s what he did this day last time. nothing of note happened this particular day, he knows, so his grip on his bag is loose as he listens to morgana mumble about how nice ann looked today and how they should really have a meeting soon to discuss next steps and not because he misses her.
he misses his train, lost in thought.
it’s the first rift in the timeline he’s caused himself. … probably fine, right? )
it doesn’t take him long to piece some things together: it’s his first few weeks at shujin, sojiro still thinks he’s a miscreant, ryuji and ann aren’t confiding in him about everything, and morgana has zero idea who he really is. that all tracks.
what doesn’t track is that the owner of the room cloaked in blue hasn’t reappeared. not once. it makes dealing with the bantering of his personas a little more involved and frustrating. without his “guards” to restrain and ridicule him for taking so long, he’s free to take his time and really develop the best strategies. for… a place that shouldn’t exist anymore.
yeah, that’s the stickler. none of this should exist. time travel doesn’t exist, but then again, he’s been traipsing around in people’s hearts and living in alternate realities created by a disillusioned therapist so who is he to judge? either way, it seems like no one remembers that they’ve been down this road before. explaining it to them - even ryuji - seems like a fool’s errand and ripe for distrust among his closest friends. so akira keeps quiet and recounts the first semester with ease, skillfully avoiding letting any trepidation show. avoiding maruki is also high on his list; he needs to assess what to do about that with much more care than repeating the same old set list from his last “life”.
(because surely igor will return, surely the butterfly will float down one night while he slumbers and everything will be explained.
they don’t. not even after kamoshida’s heart is changed.
akira figures he’s on his own this time around, even if the back of his mind itches with the haunting words of dear trickster, what will you make of this second chance to seek a middle ground of reform and ruin?)
but all of that’s to say his atternoon return from shujin should have been filled with a visit to the doctor’s office and movie theater. that’s what he did this day last time. nothing of note happened this particular day, he knows, so his grip on his bag is loose as he listens to morgana mumble about how nice ann looked today and how they should really have a meeting soon to discuss next steps and not because he misses her.
he misses his train, lost in thought.
it’s the first rift in the timeline he’s caused himself. … probably fine, right? )
